Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
