Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
