So drunk its hurt
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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