just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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