he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
