I'm going to jail i love you
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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