we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
