I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
