just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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