We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
