I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
