Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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