the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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