A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
