i barfeds in our rink
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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