what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
