Jerry, you need to find god
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
