So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
