Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
