Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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