Got a toothbrush?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
