? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
