I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
