You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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