Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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