Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
