Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
