new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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