Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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