i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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