yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
