The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
