just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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