Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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