Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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