I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
