No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize