i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
do herpes really smell.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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