I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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