you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
