I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
