my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
