He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im six kinds of drunk right now
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Randomize