I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
