Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
