its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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