How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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