in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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