Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Randomize
