Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize