Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize