is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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