A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
