That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
