i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
