Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
