the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
