Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
