is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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