But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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