Nicole vs. Life
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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