NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize