At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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