What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
