were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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