I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
