Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
too bad you live with your parents still
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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