Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
