shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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