Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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