I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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