i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
