Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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