I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize