I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize