If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
