If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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